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I have a new blog

Ok! So, I don't even know where to start. 

I played the role of Effie White on Dreamgirls! It changed my life! I am now starting an acting career and already have a few movie roles lined up. I'm super excited. 

I also stopped being under contract with a seriously ill-fitting management company and have creative freedom again. Due to this, I am finally going to start doing what I had originally set out to do before the big bad sharks "owned" me (they had rights to my name as a brand and my appearances and whatever work I decided to publish etc.)

THAT IS DONE

MUAHAHAHA I will now CREATE what I WANT

YEY. So those of you who met me through the Gackt community... be prepared... some heavy Gackt fangirling is about to ensue in my youtube channel. I'm sorry to those who added "Crystal Skai" originally, but due to some legal problems I ended up losing that name, so I adopted another one, but this one I won't announce it until I have stuff to show for it, like actual videos posted on it, and music, and photo diaries and fun stuff... actual stuff... but YEAH it's coming! Whoo hoo! I'll also let you know when my films might be coming out. I know for sure one of them includes Catherine Deneuve!!! I am psyched!!!

YEY

Rabbit Heart

Here I am, a rabbit-hearted girl... - Florence+ The Machine.

Still fighting, still struggling, still attempting to be two people at the same time. It's a very weird process. There's the side of me that feels authentically like one thing, and the side of me that has been molded into something else. I sometimes want to throw up from the confusion. I start feeling so powerless and stuck in my predicament that my body becomes inflamed and produces hives. I'm writing songs, most of them in English. It's an escape for me, I fee like I can be myself in English and I can't be myself in Spanish. Why? Because the country that views me as a rising pop star is like an extension of my parents, merely expecting me to fulfill a role, not actually allowing me to develop and become whatever creature I'm meant to become. There is a hole, and I have to fill it and I need to fit the requirements and it's like an audition. It's not like I can just be who I am and carve my own place, no, that's not how it works here. I'm just standing trying to prove myself, they're just waiting for me to prove their suspicions wrong. What if I don't give a damn?

I've started watching anime again. I haven't seen new anime since Full Metal Alchemist (and I still haven't seen Brotherhood), but I'm looking forward to it because it had been so long that I'd forgotten how good it was to just escape into those worlds. For a long time I became almost exclusively concentrated on J-Rock music or Doramas, and then I just stopped watching everything and focusing on my career and my schoolwork. Now? I am still in the middle of my career, preparing my third album and getting ready for an arena show in about a month and a half, and I'm also still in school or rather "back to school" which is kind of weird when you're 24 years old and everyone around you just graduated from High School, but oh well! Different career paths! Different lifestyles!

I'm an artist, through and through, and during these last few years as a singer I've always felt like a piece of me is missing and now I'm trying to re-integrate it. Anime was as much a part of my personality as my being a Gemini. I used to believe that it was my destiny to bring Anime to the Dominican Republic (my country) and nearly succeeded when I helped organize a huge anime convention. I was too young though, and naive and inexperienced and full of too many dreams that I wanted to accomplish simultaneously, so I couldn't pull it off then. I was also heavily influenced by "adults" (who, even now, at 24, I refer to like some sort of other species, even though I'm supposed to be one of them) and I stopped focusing on everything and just tried focusing on one thing: Singing.

Gah. That does not work for me. I co-wrote a novel while singing, and they told me to give up on writing too (on thing at a time speech), and you know what? I got bored! I'm too bored when I don't do absolutely everything I love! I'm too bored when I can't dedicate my life to the things I'm passionate about and I can't stand it! During my time as someone doing only "one thing at a time", I had to fill the void of boredom with food and I think I gained like 20 pounds! I mean dude! I was bored! I had nothing better to do than eat!

This year though I decided things would be different, that I would stop trying to please everyone and now focus exclusively on the things that please me. I'm no longer going to do music I myself don't like for one (a common problem in the early stages of my career) and I'm going to also pick up where I left off in the realms of writing and illustration.

I've always been a mangaka wannabe, to the point that I created a "manga studio" (VERY AMATEUR) with my best friends in middle school and then learned all on my own how to draw. I've always been like that, if I'm interested in something, I create a place where I can satisfy it: In elementary I did a "Play Club", in middle school a Manga Studio, in high school a "Rock Band" and finally, once I graduated and wanted to become a latin pop star, I went ahead and pursued it. I learned a lot of ugly things about it though, about being a "professional" performer and what it entails.

There is one guiding trait about me and it's the fact that I can't live a lie. I think the world's problems aren't solved if everyone lies about it. So I gave the whole "diplomacy" and "hypocrisy" thing a go and I pretended I was someone I was not and it was productive yes, I achieved a lot, but it was also very boring! I'm done with that! I don't care if it's childish but I refuse to settle for things that aren't fun! I have ONE life, ONE, when I die it's KABOOM, GONE. I do not want to waste it pleasing other people.

So I started watching anime again, as part of a slow process to re-aquaint myself with who I am and what I love. I enrolled at two universities simultaneously as well: UNIBE (Advertisement) and the Art Institute (Media Arts & Animation), so that I can continue to grow as an illustrator and hopefully create the works I've always dreamed of. I'm still a professional performer, I'm still working on my career and preparing a new album and all that, and there are responsibilities I can't ignore, like my Foundation, which became active this year.

But overall I'm much happier, knowing that I'm going to pursue my dreams on MY terms now. It's a shame I don't know a lot of people in real life that are like those I've encountered online. Because most of you live abroad, and those that live where I live rarely come forward.

I'm a total, utter and proud geek. I'm a bookworm, and I'm creepy. I'm a bit of a pervert too. I'm very open about my thoughts, because like I said before, I don't think lies are conducive to anything. I like to pretend I'm Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory and analyze everything. I see myself as a "specimen" as much as a person.

I love talking about myself and hearing others talk about themselves, because I love understanding people and understanding my relation to them and their relation to me. I love creating connections and learning new things. And honestly, don't we all? I mean, think about the things you're obsessed with and meeting people who share that obsession, don't you practically fall in love with them at first sight? We need each other so much, those of us with similar tastes, but if we're constantly hiding them, we'll never find each other! So I'm going to represent who I am, utterly and completely in everything I do from now on, including in my next photo shoot (crap... I have to get in shape!).

So! Animes I'm watching:

Code Geass: Lelouch Of The Rebellion
Naruto
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

I'm probably going to be done with all three by next week.

So! Those of you who never left the anime bandwagon, for a deserter like me who's come back to life... any recommendations? ^_^

And has anyone else here ever gone back to college at a later age and nearly succumbed to quarter-life crisis? XD I'm ok! I'm ok!
You can vote directly here: http://is.gd/bPYd3 or visit CristalMarie.Com :D

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I'm auditioning for GLEE: http://www.cristalmarie.com now re-directs to my audition page, well, actually it re-directs to the MySpace profile I built for the audition because the official website is so clogged with traffic it barely ever loads.

However, in order to get exposure, us participants need votes, which can only be obtained in the form of GOLD STARS awarded directly at myspace.com/gleeauditions

Since the links are so damn slow, it's easier if you just go to the "Search" bar and type "Cristal" which is my first name. You'll see an avatar that looks well... like the video upstairs =)



Thank you for checking it out! Personally if anybody on my Friends list is also auditioning, let me know in the comments and post your link, I think we should all help each other and vote for each other and that will aid us in terms of exposure!

--

On Another Note: I changed the Bio section in my User Profile. I added the video where I sing "Fragrance" from Gackt in acoustic, and I'm going to be recording soon a lot of versions because I finally got a Flip HD camera and know how to use it! I'm still learning to edit though, so um, that will eventually come, in the meantime feel free to share/spread-the-love about my audition, or my Gackt cover, or my profile, or the fact that there's an Otaku-Gleek EGL-Wannabe Gackt-Miyavi-Laruku fan on LJ happy to make friends with the same interests and about to embark on a crazy adventure of Anything-Goes Karaoke and Unplugged Budget Recordings... oh yeah.

Right now most of my posts are Friends-Only, but this one I'm keeping Public.

Ok everyone, to those who are going to check out my audition: THANK YOU! ARIGATOU! GRACIAS! OMG I DIE!

To those who posted their own auditions: GOOD LUCK! SEND ME YOUR LINKS! LET'S SUPPORT EACH OTHER!

To those who arrived here by mistake somehow or dug the blue ponytails... I know what you're thinking... perv. J/K XD

Nov. 11th, 2008

Drying my hair after heinous makeover, changed swiftly back!

Nov. 8th, 2008

OMG, I'm recording my new video in New Orleans! The Vampire Lestat's home!!! Aaaaaaah!

Tutorial Crack Addict

I am addicted to How To articles and Tutorial sites. I do not know how this happened. I just AM. I devour DAILY at least 50 articles on How-To whatever. I don't even know why? Am I trying to become the Queen of Resources on random stuffies? SHEESH. I need to stop. I should drink some wine or something. NO NO, alcohol BAD. Gosh I sound like a retard. -_-
Best line ever: Love is Blind. Hate has GPS.